【求改托福作文.（TPO8综合写作）TPO8：Thelectureractuallycontradictsthestatementmadeinthepassage.SheisoftheviewthatChevalier’smemoirisaccurateandreliable.Tobeginwith,thelecturercontradictstheissuethataccording】-云好查问答

【求改托福作文.（TPO8综合写作）TPO8：Thelectureractuallycontradictsthestatementmadeinthepassage.SheisoftheviewthatChevalier’smemoirisaccurateandreliable.Tobeginwith,thelecturercontradictstheissuethataccording】

更新时间：2024-09-20 22:35:02

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求改托福作文.（TPO8综合写作）

TPO8：Thelectureractuallycontradictsthestatementmadeinthepassage.SheisoftheviewthatChevalier’smemoirisaccurateandreliable.Tobeginwith,thelecturercontradictstheissuethataccordingtoChevalier’smemoir,hewasverywealthy,butevidenceshowedheborrowedsumsofmoneyfromhisfriends,whichiscontroversial.Sheholdstheopinionthatborrowingmoneyfromfriendscanbetheevidenceofbeingpoor,andbecauseheneedtimetotransferassetintomoney,hemayborrowmoneyfromfriendstomaintaintheexpenseonpartiesandgambling.TheissueofthatitisskepticalabouttheaccuracyoftheconversationthatChevalierrecordsinthememoirbetweenhimselfandthefamouswriterVoltaire,sincehecannotrememberexactphrasesfromtheconversationheldmanyyearsearlierdoesnotpleasethelecturerneither.ShearguesthatChevaliercanconsulatethenotesandjournalsrecodingtheconversation.Subsequently,thepassagesaysthatChevalierwasmorelikelytogetoutoftheprisonwiththehelpofhisfriendswhocouldhaveofferedabriberatherthanescapedbyusingapieceofmental.Nonetheless,thelecturerarguesthatasmanyotherprisonerswhohadmorepowerthanChevalier’sfriendsdidnotescapefromtheprison,andaccordingtotheofficialdocument,afterChevalier’sescaping,theprisonwasrepaired.ThuswecanconcludethatthelecturerchallengesthepassagebyusingreasonsaboutwhyChevalier’smemoirisaccurate.

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　　Thelectureractuallycontradictsthestatementmadeinthepassage. 　　SheisoftheviewthatChevalier’smemoirisaccurateandreliable.[这句话其实没有必要写成这种形式可以说Sheholdstheviewthat...“beof”这种形式能不用就尽量不要用] 　　Tobeginwith,thelecturercontradictstheissuethataccordingtoChevalier’smemoir,hewasverywealthy,butevidenceshowedheborrowedsumsofmoneyfromhisfriends,whichiscontroversial.[句式太长太复杂了对于nativespeaker而言其实并没有那么好懂建议改写成Inthebeginning,thelecturerdisagreedwiththeideaintheChevalier'smemoir.Chevalier'smemoirsuggestedthathewasverywealthy.] 　　Sheholdstheopinionthatborrowingmoneyfromfriendscanbetheevidenceofbeingpoor,andbecauseheneedtimetotransferassetintomoney,hemayborrowmoneyfromfriendstomaintaintheexpenseonpartiesandgambling.[重复词汇太多了句子太长了句子长其实不是问题但是逻辑关系不能乱逻辑关系一定要清楚明白建议一个句子里面不要出现多于两个的逻辑关系从句可以但是逻辑关系要慎重其实你这个句子我没太看懂但是如果我改写的话大概会是这个样子She...poor.Duetothetimethatheneedsfortransferingassetsintomoney,hewillborrowmorefromfriendstokeeppartyingandgambling.] 　　TheissueofthatitisskepticalabouttheaccuracyoftheconversationthatChevalierrecordsinthememoirbetweenhimselfandthefamouswriterVoltaire,sincehecannotrememberexactphrasesfromtheconversationheldmanyyearsearlierdoesnotpleasethelecturerneither.[FragmentSentence把Theissueofthat拿掉才是句子结构后面的itisskeptical是一个完整的句子结构反而是前面的theissueofthat没有谓语动词直接拿掉就好了] 　　ShearguesthatChevaliercanconsulatethenotesandjournalsrecodingtheconversation.[recoding前面加一个逗号] 　　Subsequently,thepassagesaysthatChevalierwasmorelikelytogetoutoftheprisonwiththehelpofhisfriendswhocouldhaveofferedabriberatherthanescapedbyusingapieceofmental.[最后一个词应该是metal如果我没看错的话金属建议用getoutfrom因为你也不确定他到底怎么出来的getoutof有点过于口语化并且对于他和监狱的关系表达的太过于随意后面建议改成withthebribeofferedbyhisfriends,ratherthanescaping...句子太长的时候请用逗号来分开更好的让人了解句子结构] 　　Nonetheless,thelecturerarguesthatasmanyotherprisonerswhohadmorepowerthanChevalier’sfriendsdidnotescapefromtheprison,andaccordingtotheofficialdocument,afterChevalier’sescaping,theprisonwasrepaired.[有点混乱这个句子的主体结构应该是thelecturerarguesthat...后面接观点建议拆成两个句子中间用Inaddition,作为连接] 　　ThuswecanconcludethatthelecturerchallengesthepassagebyusingreasonsaboutwhyChevalier’smemoirisaccurate.[Thus后面要加逗号]